


Sunflower

by xxLoveYourselfxx



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alec Lightwood & Maia Roberts Friendship, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec and Raphael friendship, Alec is the protector of the downworlders, And they protect him too, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time, Flowers, Hurt Alec, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Protective Magnus Bane, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Supportive Magnus Bane, True Love, Trust, Violence, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-04-07 15:07:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxLoveYourselfxx/pseuds/xxLoveYourselfxx
Summary: When at 6, Alec help Magnus to feel better by talking about his passion for flowers, the warlock don't forget about the shadowhunter with hazel eyes.So when 12 years later, they meet again Magnus decide to do everything to save Alec who seemed broken and nothing like the kid who once couldn't stop talking about how beautiful flowers were.[On hiatus]





	1. Chapter 1

Seeing Camille after all those years made Magnus lose control in front of everyone in the Pandomenium so he left before anyone could ask why. 

He was alone, again, he found a bench so he decided to calm himself here. And of course he start crying, he hated how she made him so vulnerable and weak. He wanted to turn everything upside down, he was so angry at himself why couldn't he be more strong.

"Hello" he heard a shy voice and looked from where it come. A little kid had just sat next to him, he was looking curiously at Magnus with those big hazel eyes. He wiped his tears, he didn't want to cry in front of a kid.  
"Why are you crying? Are you ok? You know sometimes I cry too and I feel good after that so don't worry you don't have to hide."  
Magnus chuckled, what could a kid at this age have lived that made him want to cry.  
"How old are you?" Magnus asked him and saw the little kid count on his fingers and then show him.  
"Like that, six! You see I'm the older of my siblings. How old are you?"  
"Well I'm way too older than you" He couldn't say to this kid that he was more than 400 years old.  
"My name is Alexander but now everyone call me Alec because my sister Izzy call me like that and you what's your name?" Magnus looked at him and smiled, how could he speak so fast did he never stop, he was so innocent.  
"Well my name is Magnus, nice to meet you Alexander" He saw Alec thinking and couldn't help but smile.  
"Ah I know, I remember now, you know my mother has a friend named Magnus too"  
"That's weird I've never met anyone with the same name as mine" And he was serious.  
"I swear, she was talking with my father and I heard her talking about someone called Magnus Bone" he then smiled innocently. 

Magnus tried to think about any of his friend who could have a cousin or something like that but he couldn't find any so he asked.  
"Tell me Alexander what is your last name?"  
" My last name is Lightwood, my mother says that we are a very strong family you know" Magnus couldn't believe what he heard, why this little angel had to be a shadowhunter?

"Sooo, why were you crying?" Magnus looked at Alec and smiled.  
"I can't tell you"  
"Why is it a secret? What if I tell you a secret? Would you tell me yours?"  
Magnus laughed at the little boy, he really never stopped talking but he really wanted to know his secret maybe it will be a goosip from the Institute.  
"Alright but you go first"  
"Okay, come a little closer" Magnus did what the little shadowhunter asked him and listened.  
"I love flowers" and then brang his hands to his mouths and smiled.  
"And why is this a secret?"  
"Well, one day someone gave my mother flowers and she put them on the table, they were soooo beautiful so I told my mother that I found the flowers beautiful but she yelled at me and she said that I should never say that in front of other people. I don't know why, do you have a garden? I always dreamt of having a garden so that I can plant as maaaaany flowers as I want but I can't. Do you know why mom told me to keep it a secret?" Alec looked up at Magnus and raised an eyebrow.  
" Ah those shadowhunters" Magnus didn't meant to say that out loud but it escape his mouth and now it was too late.  
"You know shadowhunters, I though you were a mundane, but I've never saw you at the Institute and you don't have any runes what are you?" Magnus wanted to slap himself. If it was an adult, Magnus would have sent him flying with a snap of his fingers for talking too much but Alec didn't bother him, it was nice to talk with him.  
" You're right I'm not a shadowhunter, I am.. a warlock" He waited for the little one to be scared but Alec smiled and then almost shouted.  
"Waaaw can I see you warlock mark pleaaase, mom never let me talk to downworlders" Magnus turned his face, his mark never brang him something to be happy about, it killed his mother and every person was scared of him when they saw it. He remember when Camille would ask him to hide them because she found them disgusting.  
"Please Magnus, I have never saw any"  
So he decide to show them to the little one, if he ran away it wouldn't be a problem he was used to be alone anyway.  
"Alright but close your eyes first" He saw Alec putting his hands on his eyes and smiling widely.  
"You can open them" Alec lowered his hands and then opened his eyes.  
He start looking and unconsciously getting closer to Magnus to take a better look.  
"They are beautiful, they remember me of that flower who have... a brown circle in the middle and then yellow petals around" he tried to explain to Magnus, he was even trying to draw them with his fingers.  
"Ah you want to say a sunflower?"  
He saw Alec looking at his hands, "I don't know I only saw a picture once". For the first time during all the discussion, he looked sad. Magnus couldn't stand this view so he decided to cheer him a little.  
"Do you want to see a real one?"  
"What? Really? Like now? Yes please yeees" he was almost jumping so Magnus snapped his fingers and a single but very beautiful sunflower appeared on his hands. When he saw the look on Alec's face he knew that he made the right choice.  
"Can I touch it please?" Magnus smiled and handed him the flower.  
"Of course, it's yours now you have to keep it its a gift" Alec took it delicately as if he was afraid he was going to break it.  
"See, just like your eyes" they stared at each other and Magnus wanted to cry, this little one was the first one to compliment his mark.

"So tell me what's your favorite flower? " Alec who couldn't stop from looking at the sunflower in his hands looked up at Magnus.  
"Well right now it's this one, but I have to see the others to decide, we don't have flowers in the institute. You know if I could create a flower I would make her smell like chocolate, can you imagine that would be great" he was smiling when a woman grabbed his arm and start yelling.  
"Alexander! How many times did I tell you to stay away from those downworlders? Magnus you better stay away from my son or I report you to the Clave!"  
Great he had to be Maryse's son.  
"But mom, he's my friend he didn't-"  
"Quiet!" Magnus saw the little boy almost jump in fear, he wanted to help him but he couldn't do anything.  
"Come on let's go." she pulled her son and started walking.  
He wanted to turned around and go to his loft but then he saw Alec turning his head and waving goodbye with a large smile on his face. He smiled and also waved at the little shadowhunter.

~ 12 years later ~

" Alright but first names."  
" I'm Izzy, this is Clary, and my brothers Jace and Alec" she was smiling at Magnus who recognized Alec but didn't know what to do. He was out for a moment until he heard Alec's voice.  
"I'm going to check the perimeter." and he left without smiling or even looking at Magnus.  
"Don't worry, Alec is like that with every one, we're happy if he just look at us in the eyes." said Jace but Magnus couldn't believe it. Alexander wasn't like that, maybe it wasn't him, but no he remembered when Alec talked about his siblings Jace and Izzy. It was him, after all those years, he finally met the little guy again but he didn't even got a glance.  
"Yeah I'm pretty sure he hates me" Clary was laughing and Jace put his hand on his shoulder.  
"Oh no Alec hates everyone"  
"Okay shut up!" Magnus was getting angry, this couldn't be Alexander, what happened to the boy who loved flowers and couldn't help but talk and smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this story, Valentine is already captured, so Clary just want her memories back because she feels weird. That's why they go to Magnus ^^ Enjoy

"Blondie if you want your friend here to have her memories back I'll ask you to stop talking" He couldn't bear another comment about how Alexander is now.  
"So, come back at my loft tomorrow at 7pm here's the address now get out sho" He then turn to the bar and start drinking in order to maybe forget what he heard.

He was on his couch, a drink on his hand and stroking Chairma Meow with the other. The doorbell made the cat jump from the couch, he sighed and then get up to open the door. 

"Hello shadowhunters, come in" Izzy and Clary smiled at him, Jace nodded and Alexander, well Alexander ignored him and entered in his loft and put himself behind the group.

He shouldn't be hurt, they only talked once and he was a kid maybe he didn't even remember Magnus however that discussion change his life. After the meeting with Alexander, Magnus forgot about Camille and began to live for himself he even grew flowers in his balcony. He was feeling good after almost a century of misery and all thanks to a 6-year-old shadowhunter. But maybe it meant nothing after all.

"So I'm going to need one of you to draw this over there" he show the paper to the group and Clary smiled and took it "I'm on it"  
She began to draw and after a good 15 minutes of silence, Izzy began to talk.  
"How is it going to work?"  
"After biscuit finished drawing we will hold each other hand in a circle and then I'll call the memory demon to whom I gave Clary's memories. After that he I going to ask for a price, usually with demons like this they ask for others memories so don't worry"  
He saw them thinking a little and then Jace said  
"But are we going to remember the memories that he will take from us or is going to be like with Clary's memories?" Magnus smiled, he sometimes forgot that not everyone could understand.  
"No don't worry, the demon only get a copy of your memory you're going to remember it. So.. when he will choose one memory he's going to show it to you and only the demon, the person concerned and myself will be able to see which memory he choose, the others are only going to listen what he say. Alright, others questions? Alexander?"  
Magnus saw the shadowhunter trying to avoid Magnus gaze," No thanks"

"I'm done!" Clary shouted and everyone came to circle what she draw.  
"Alright everybody, grab each other hand and don't let it go until I say it's okay."  
He grabbed Izzy's hand, she was smiling at him as always he tried to return it but it felt weird, he turn to grab the other person's hand when he saw that it was Alexander.


	3. Chapter 3

He took Alexander's hand in the most gentle way, he looked in those hazel eyes and he couldn't understand what happened to the little shadowhunters who couldn't stop talking and asking questions. 

Alec looked at their hands and then his eyes met Magnus', he stayed like that only for some seconds but it seemed like hours.  
He only wanted one thing and that was to look at Magnus' eyes without the glamor, the eyes that couldn't leave him from the moment he saw them. Of course he remembered Magnus, he was the only escape Alec had, and he occupied so many of his dreams. In some of them, Magnus would show Alec so much flowers that he didn't want to wake up.  
It was hard for him to look at the warlock after all those years, he surely didn't even remember him, he was a warlock after all he had many friends what could he do with someone like him.

Alec quickly looked at the floor as if he committed a crime.  
When everyone was ready, Magnus recited some words in what seemed to be Latin and then a demon appeared in the middle of their circle.

"Ah, well it has been a long time" the demon spoke and Magnus felt Alec squeeze a little his hand.  
"I want you to give me back the memories of Clary Fairchild."  
"I suppose you all know that the price is going to be memories, I... Am going to ask for the most painful memory of your childhood, they are the best."

"Alright let's began" he turned to Izzy who closed her eyes and then opened them to see what memory he chose, an image appeared, it was her first rune. "Come on, first rune, this is boring."  
Then Jace, the same happened when he opened his eyes.  
"Magnus, where did you find those? Really another first rune, a shame that I can't take one of yours warlocks have so much more interesting memories"  
"Yeah well don't think of it to much and end this" Magnus shouted and he then felt a shiver from Alec's hand, was he trembling? 

"Well, Clary I don't even know what I am going to have, the only memories who could have been a little interesting are mine." she opened her eyes, and the demon laughed.  
"Really? You fell from your bike and this is your most painful memory, ugh I really shouldn't have agreed to this" 

But when the demon turned to Alec, Magnus really felt a grip on his hand, he wanted to know why but he had to wait until the end.  
"Oh, now that is an interesting shadowhunter, there are so many I don't know which one to choose" He laughed "You should see that Magnus, and they call us demons, poor thing I don't know what he did to piss off his parents that much"  
The demon said happily, Magnus didn't understand, what happened to Alexander? Did they hurt him? 

"Alright I found it, there are so many in this one bring him back one day, look at this memory" Alec opened his eyes and wanted to look at something else but he couldn't, why did it have to be this memory. 

~ Memory ~

Maryse pulled Alec in his office and pushed him, his back was against the big desk.  
"Mom I was only talking to him because he was sad I-" He was trying to hide the big sunflower behind is back even if he knew that his mother saw it.  
"How many time did I tell you not to talk to downworlders, why don't you listen to me? First, you pass the guards to talk to the downworlders who are in their cells and now you even go to them on the streets! What did I teach you about the Lightwood name Alexander? Why would you want to tarnish our family name like that?" 

Alec had tears on his eyes, he always was fascinated by downworlders so when he saw a warlock being pushed in a cell he decided to go talk to him when everyone was asleep. The guards didn't even see him, he was so small and agile, the first night he was afraid to talk with the prisoner but as the days passed he began to talk to him, the warlock used to tell him about his travelling and Alec just listened to him, sitting on the cold floor on the other side of the bars. One day a guard caught him and he never had the opportunity to talk to his friend. 

"But mom I only talk to him I didn't-"  
"And what is this? Give me this flower! Now!" Alec pressed his back against the desk putting the flower closer to his chest.  
"No please mom, just let me keep her I'll do anything you want please" as much as he was trying not to, he was crying.  
"Why would you keep this? Give it to me now!" Maryse shouted and his son almost jumped in fear.  
"Please, I swear I'll do anything"  
"Oh anything, alright we're going to see this" she turned to bring something, Alec smiled through his tears thinking that his mother understood that he really wanted to keep Magnus' gift. 

She came back to him with a seraph blade on his hand, he didn't understand.  
"If you want to keep it I want you to take this and to cut your arms three times." Maryse talked with such a stern voice Alec first thought she was joking but he saw that his mother didn't stopped starring at him.  
"If I do it, I can keep the flower?" she nodded so he took the seraph blade and put the flower on the floor.  
He reassemble his sleeve, close his eyes and bring the seraph blade to his arm, he did it only two left and he could keep the flower. He tried to hold back his tears as he pushed the weapon into his skin. 

"See... I did it" he tried to grab his flower but his mother took it first.  
"Well I didn't think that you'll do it, but now at least I know that you could be a good shadowhunter. Lesson number one, emotions are nothing but a distraction so say goodbye to this thing." she threw the sunflower out the window and Alec couldn't believe it. 

" No.. You promised.. " Tears rolling down his little face.  
" Shut it you're a shadowhunter, you don't show emotions and that means no crying. Now come here no one have to see this mess !"  
She took his arm, and draw an iratze, it hurts like hell but Alec didn't cry, dry tears on his face he could only think of the gift that she throw.  
"Never show this rune to anyone, this is your first rune but your ceremony isn't here yet. Now to your room!" 

~ End memory ~

"Now that is a memory, the little girl is going to have her memories back and she can thank this guy."  
The demon disappeared and Clary stared screaming, as everyone went to see if she was alright Magnus saw Alec running to get out of his loft.  
Magnus couldn't leave, he had to make sure Clary was alright.  
After a moment, everything was alright.  
"Wow"  
"I know Clary, things might get a little blurry for a moment but it's normal" Magnus get up and wanted to see Alec.  
"Thank you all guys, by the way where is Alec I didn't understand what the demon meant when he said that-" Clary seemed confused and Magnus understood it they could only listen what the demon said.  
"I think he got a call, he said he will get back I'm going to see if everything is alright. Jace and Izzy don't leave Clary alone help her get to the couch." Magnus lied, Clary could totally do this alone but he needed them distracted. 

He ran to see where Alec could be, he was there at the end of the stairs on his knees a hand on the wall and the other on his chest.  
" I... I can't breath"


	4. Chapter 4

"Alexander look at me, I'm going to touch alright?" He knew Alec was having a panic attack so he decide to isolate him in order to calm himself. Magnus took Alec's hand and suddenly they were surrounded by a blue cloud, it felt warm to be in the bubble.  
"Slowly, breath, in... and out... You're doing amazing keep going" Magnus let go of Alec's hand and looked at the shadowhunter who was now breathing, slowly but at least he calmed himself.  
They stayed in front of each other, appreciating the silence.

After a moment, Magnus sat next to Alec and start playing with his rings.  
"You know, I thought that you didn't remember me.. It was selfish I'm sorry I didn't know that she.." he stopped himself and just looked at Alec who just nodded and stared at Magnus for a moment before looking at his feet.

"I still haven't told you my secret." He had panic attacks before, he liked being distracted after they passed.  
"The day you find me I was crying because..." and without even noticing he was telling his whole story with Camille to Alec, how she cheated on him and then made him believe it was his fault and more.

After a moment Magnus was looking at Alec not saying a word. He wanted to kill Maryse for what she did, and he wanted to slap himself for thinking that Alec forgot about him because he was like all the others. What she did only for a flower, he didn't even want to know what else the little boy had to bear. But more than anything else he needed to hear Alec's voice, he didn't know why but he had this urge to hear him talking. 

"Do you want a sunflower?" He wanted to disappear the moment those words were said, he just saw Maryse force him to cut himself for it, why was he such an idiot?   
"No. "  
.  
.  
Alright, he needed to hear his voice but this just hurt. Magnus was beginning to feel like the worse when Alec turned to him and cleared his throat. 

"I didn't mean it like that, thanks but no. Actually I kept the one that you gave me that time.... She just throw it so when she told me to go to my room I just sneaked out of the Institute and took it" Magnus saw a smile cross Alec's face and nothing else would have made him happier than that. 

"Thank you for.. this" He looked at the blue bubble around him, "but I think that we should go back to the group."  
Magnus would never be tired of hearing Alec's voice, it was nothing like when he was a child and he noticed that it was still a little rough from the panic attack but he didn't care.  
Magnus made the cloud disappear and then offer his hand at Alec as he woke up.  
"Right, we should join the party."


	5. Chapter 5

Magnus was preparing some potion for a client when loud knocks on his door made him jump.  
"What is all this noise?" He opened and was surprised when Raphael and Izzy pushed him, they were holding Alec who was unconscious.  
"What happened to him?" Magnus was so worried, he wanted to see the shadowhunter but this is not what he imagined.  
" This idiota put himself between a demon and me." Raphael was confused, never he would have thought that a shadowhunter would save him. He didn't even know Alec, why would he do that?  
"Oh Alexander. Put him on the couch, alright like that." He start waving his hand, magic healing some wounds and trying to find what is blocking the shadowhunter from waking up. "Shit, Raph call Cat and tell her to come here as soon as possible, there is demon poison in his body we have to get it out of him"

Tears start filling Izzy's eyes and Magnus noticed it.  
"Izzy it's going to be fine don't worry Alexander is strong and Cat is coming alright? Look at me" He took Izzy's shoulder so that she was facing him "Don't worry you have to be strong for him, he's only going stay out for a moment."  
She looked at him in the eyes and nodded, after that she sat next to Alec and took his hand.

Magnus began to make a potion when Raphael came next to him.  
"Magnus what can I do to help?" He looked really worried and Magnus noticed it.  
"Just stay with Alexander when Cat will arrive we are going to need you and Izzy to hold him, alright?" Raphael nodded and began to turn when Magnus hold his arm.  
" It's not your fault you know that right?" He didn't get an answer, Raphael only looked at his feet and went next to Alec.

"Cat thank god you're here" the woman hurried when she saw Alec in the couch.  
"Alright Magnus what happened?" She examined Alec with her magic and then joined Magnus helping him with the potion.  
"There was an attack, it was just me and Alec because we thought that it was just a minor attack but when we got there... Well there was a lot of demons we almost got them all but when Alec saw that one was attacking Raphael from behind he put himself in the middle before killing him. The demon had the time to inject him something I don't know what, I never saw him like that... "  
" I'm sorry" the voice was Raphael's, Magnus and Cat wanted to reassure their friend but before they got the chance to Izzy spoke.  
"It's not your fault Raphael, my brother is always like that. In every mission he doesn't hesitate to do everything to protect everyone. I don't know how many time he ended in the infirmary because of me or Jace. And the worst part is that he does it everytime, downworlder or shadowhunter, he's the best of us."

" Alright darling now get on this side of the couch and hold your brother, like really hold him he might get a little violent but don't worry it's just the poison, he might say some things but it's not him talking." He then turned to Raphael and told him to do the same with the other side.  
Cat brang the potion and after they put it in Alec's mouth, they start waving magic at the same time. 

Alec start waking up, his head was hurting but when he saw who was in front of him.. He calmed himself but something was weird, why couldn't he talk.  
"Hey Alec how are you feeling?" Alec turned and saw his sister, she looked tired and was she crying?  
"Like you care! When did you even care enough to try to look a little bit more than just 'How are you Alec?' and you call yourself my sister!" He wasn't saying those things so what was happening, he couldn't breath he would never say something like this to Izzy. 

" Breath Alec it's not you it's the poison, we know that it's not you" Magnus' voice was calming him but everything was going to fast he didn't understand.  
"Who talked with you? You monster!" Alec wanted to cry, he would never say this. But he was only spectator of his own body, why couldn't he control himself more. 

Magnus was out for a moment, but when Cat called him while trying to get out all the poison from Alec, he was back.  
Alec was shouting and trying to get out of Izzy and Raphael who were holding him on the couch, it was painful and Magnus knew it.

After a moment, they have drained all the poison out of Alec's system but he fell asleep.  
"Don't worry Izzy, he's just asleep now, he must have been exhausted usually people don't sleep after being poisoned by a demon" Magnus then conjured them coffee and pastries.  
"Come on you guys eat a little! Cat can you stay a little?"  
"Sorry Magnus I have to go back to the hospital, my shift isn't over yet." She hugged her friend who kissed her cheek.  
"Wait I'll open a portal for you, you're already exhausted"

"So Izzy, how is everyone in the Institute? Is Clary still feeling a little dizzy?" To be clear he didn't care but the silence was awful and he knew that Raphael was blaming himself.  
"Ow the same and Clary is fine now, she expected a lot of memories but it turned out that there weren't even that many" Izzy smiled at him and took a sip of her coffee.  
Magnus then start to discuss with the both of them, distracting them so that they stop worrying a little.

"Hum mwerm" Alec mumbled and it caused the three of them to join him on the couch.  
"Hey there Alec, it's me Izzy how are you?"  
"I know who you are Izz-" he stopped and looked at Izzy and then Magnus.  
"What?" they bothshouted at the same moment.  
"I'm sorry, I swear I wasn't the one talking I don't know what happened I wasn't the one talking. Izzy you know I love you and Magnus I swear you're not a-" He was interrupted by Magnus whom put his finger in front of Alec's lips.  
"Darling, we know don't worry it was just the poison." They smiled to him and he then noticed Raphael who seemed awkward, he then remembered the mission. 

"By the way are you alright Raphael? I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner." Raphael looked at him and Alec didn't understand that look.  
"Magnus is his head hurt or is he really stupid"  
"Alexander next time you want to see me just call me don't bother saving this little one" Magnus stroked Raphael's hair who just grumbled. He turned to wink at Alec and magically write his number on his arm.  
Izzy was just grinning.

Alec was able to stand up so they all went to eat a little more. Magnus sat next to Alec and start conjuring a lot more food than earlier.  
"What do you want Alec? If you don't talk I won't stop until you like something" He heard Izzy laughing and Raphael just snorted.  
"Alright stop, everything is going to be wasted now, waffles." Magnus smiled at him and put waffles within waiting on Alec's plate.  
"Don't worry darling, noting is going to be wasted if you are worried about that."

Raphael had to go so he said his goodbye and then faced Alec.  
"Listen I don't know if you're like that with everyone and I don't care. What I know is that you're a shadowhunter and that you saved me, a vampire. And you have the nerve to apologize I don't understand you but really... Thank you if you ever need something you know where to find me." He then nodded at him and quitted the loft.

After a moment, Izzy stood up and smiled at Magnus.  
" Thanks for everything Magnus but we have to go now, I'm surprised mom didn't already start calling at us."  
Alec woke up from his chair and was following Izzy when Magnus took his arm.  
"Raphael is like a son to me, what you did today, I know that you don't even realize it but it's a lot and it means even more to me so thank you."  
"You're welcome, goodbye"  
"Not yet wait" he snapped his fingers and a red rose appeared, he gave it at Alec who took it shyly without looking at him in the eyes. "It's not something big, you'll have to wait for a couple of dates before I offer you proper gifts"  
Izzy laughed and then took her brother "See you soon Magnus."  
"Goodbye Isabelle and goodbye Alexander. " he looked ridiculous and he didn't even care.


	6. Chapter 6

After three days without any message from Alec, Magnus lost hope and thought that the shadowhunter wasn't interested. But as he was about to sleep, he received a message.

[Unknown number] : Hey Magnus, I'm Alec. I'm sorry I didn't wrote earlier.  
[Magnus] : Alexander! Well I'm sure you're a very busy man ;)  
[Alexander] : Yes, I mean we had a lot of missons..  
[Magnus] : Be careful I don't want to see covered in demon poison ever again  
[Alexander] : Don't worry, I only was tired that time. I should go now goodbye Magnus.  
[Magnus] : I hope so darling :) Sweet dreams Alexander <3

Alec wasn't going to sleep, they had to go on a mission, but he couldn't help but feel happy about the last message of Magnus.  
"Alec! So where should we go?" His sister was stunning as always, he couldn't understand how she could fight with those heels.  
"There's been demon activity close to a mundane restaurant or bar, we have to go inspect if there's any danger." Izzy nodded and smiled at Alec, she knew that deep down he still felt bad for what he said under the demon poison. Plus, if she tried to talk to him it would make him feel even worse so she just smile at the man she admire the most.  
" Alright boss, so I guess I call Jace and Underhill?" He return the smile, and nod, she always understand him and he loves her even more for that.

Izzy was about to do as she said when Jace and Clary joined them.  
"We heard there's a mission."  
"Yes Jace go prepare yourself while Izzy calls Underhill" Alec was turning to get his bow when his parabatai took his arm.  
"What?"  
"Euh.. Clary is here. Why would you want to get Underhill?" Clary stayed close to Jace.  
"Well maybe I want Underhill because he is a shadowhunter who had a real training and who already went to missions with Izzy, do I need to continue?" Alec could understand that Clary wanted to help but a mission at night wasn't the best option for a first one.

"Oh come on man we all had to began somewhere, I remember when you got back from your first mission, you-" Jace was interrupted by Alec, Izzy sighed and rubbed her forehead.  
"I was 7, and mother had me training every single day for nine months so I don't really think that you can compare a thing between my first mission and this."  
"What the fuck, seven?!" Clary almost shouted and caused some shadowhunters to look at the group.

Alec only rolled his eyes, and began to talk with Izzy when Jace start talking again.  
"Alright alright, but come on Alec just this time I am sure mother will accept if I go ask her." Alec and Izzy both glared at him.  
He couldn't believe his parabatai used the mother card, he knew that Alec hated it.

Izzy always knew that something was weird with her big brother when they were young, he always was sad when he came back from the training sessions with her mother. When she grow up and Alec wasn't training with Maryse anymore, she asked him and never got an answer. Somehow she understood that Alec hated that he always had to obey their mother so she never said something like that.

If a look could kill, Jace would be dead by now, Izzy would have hit him if they didn't have to go on a mission now.  
"Alec don't worry, I'll try to protect her." Izzy didnt want Alec to be obliged to answer to what Jace just said.  
"But Izzy, we don't even know what kind of demons are there, what if-" He saw Izzy's little smile and nod so he decided to give up.  
"Okay, everybody hurry, I want you in front of the Institute in 10 minutes."

When they got to the localisation, Alec muttered a little 'take care' to his sister before beginning.  
And then everything went so fast, there were a lot more demons then what they expected. Alec was fast and killed more demons than the others, all while protecting his parabatai when he was struggling.  
But, while he was killing one more demon he saw Clary turning her back to two demons. Izzy was also looking at that so she killed one but the other one got her.

Alec quickly shot an arrow perfectly, killing the demon. They were three demons left, Jace was taking care of one so he tried to hurry in order to take care of his sister who was on the ground.  
He shoot another arrow at one of the two, the other had the time to injure him on his back but he still could killed him.

He ran to his sister and pushed Clary who was on her side.  
"Izzy! Clary don't you know how to draw a fucking iratze?!" Alec place one close to the wound of Izzy who was trying to get up.  
"Come on you know she's still learning"  
"You better shut up Jace! Earlier she was capable of going on a mission and now she is only learning! Sorry Izzy don't you dare move I'll carry you." He placed her hands around his neck and carried her with ease.  
"I'll never say no to that big bro" then she start coughing and Alec hold her closer to him and hurried to get to the Institute, leaving Jace and Clary behind.  
He shouldn't worry, the institute isn't so far and Izzy's injury is not that bad. Plus the healing rune will probably heal it, but the voices couldn't stop.  
'You couldn't protect her' 'How do you think Izzy feels now that her own brother failed to protect her' 'If you can't even do that what are you good for' 'She is going to die and that's on you'

As always, as if she is reading her brother's mind, Izzy rubbed her head on Alec's shoulder and whispered,  
"Thank you, don't worry I'll be fine" she began to slowly close her eyes and Alec start panicking.  
"Izzy, please don't close your eyes stay with me!" He saw that she was trying to keep awake, she didn't want to worry her brother but she looked around and they were now at the Institute so she smiled and allowed herself to close them.

Izzy was still in the infirmary, the doctor explained to Alec that she was physically fine and the only reason why she was asleep was because the demon kind of anesthetized her. It was weird usually demons never do that. Even if she didn't had a single scar anymore, Alec was blaming himself. He never should have allow Clary to come to this mission, she didn't train enough.

"Alec I-" He put his hand in the air to tell Jace to stop talking.  
"You're both very lucky that she isn't severely hurt. Jace you may be my parabatai but I swear that it would have been the last time you talk to me if something had happened to her. And Clary you will go on a mission when I and only I say that you can." Alec then left without even waiting for their response.

He didn't sleep, he stayed near Izzy blaming himself until she woke up 3 hours later.  
"Hey stop overthinking Alec"  
"Izzy, are you okay? Do you need something? Are you cold? I should probably get you a blank-" Izzy noticed Alec's wet eyes and her heart broke, she never saw her brother crying even when he was hurt during missions.

She caressed his cheek and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before falling again in the bed.  
"Now come next to me you need to sleep"  
Izzy pushed herself on one side of the bed and tapped with her hand the place next to her for Alec.  
Alec needed to sleep but he didn't want to, still he couldn't say no to his sister so he just removed his boots and placed himself next to his little sister putting an arm around her.

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Izzy fall asleep again.  
Alec got out of the bed to make her comfortable and went to the training room.

He didn't realize it but he spent 4 hours there, he didn't eat and everytime Jace or Clary tried to talk to him, Alec just ignored them. The injury on his back was hurting but he didn't care, he just wanted to distract himself.

He was so tired after all his training he just sat on the floor looking in the wall and trying to forget evrything.

He was still with the clothes of the missions, he just took off his jacket, he is sweating and probably stink but he don't care he just want to forget.  
If Alec was in his room, he probably be crying by now, but he couldn't here. Maryse taught him to never do again.

He was just beginning to catch his breath when he felt a hand approaching his shoulder, he didn't even heard the footsteps which means that he was really tired.  
Alec quickly grabbed the arm of the man behind him and was about to hit him when he noticed that it was the most beautiful man.

"Shit, I'm sorry Magnus" Alec was exhausted so he just sat while the warlock was looking at him with concern.  
"It's nothing, are you fine?" The shadowhunter just closed his eyes and took a long breath.  
"Yes it's just I need some sleep, we had a mission last night. So what are you doing here?" Magnus sat crossed leg on the floor facing Alec and looked at him right in the eyes.

The eyes that once gave him hope that one day everything will be fine, how could he believe that now. Now that the source of his hope have been broken by his own mother. Still, Magnus stared at the hazel eyes in front of him and smiled.

"I was reinforcing the wards and I asked someone where I could find you so they told me you were training. Well technically they almost shouted at me, those shadowhunters really don't have any manners." He looked at Alec who chuckled a little but still seemed worried, maybe the mission was hard.  
" So how was the mission last night?" Magnus noticed how Alec tensed at the question so he quickly added,  
" I mean if you want to talk about that I just wanted to see you and chat a little."  
"No don't worry it's just... Izzy got injured and I was still thinking about that." He smiled at Magnus but the warlock could see that he was blaming himself.

"I could heal her if you want" Magnus put his hands on the cold floor and pushed himself a little closer to Alec.  
"Thank you Magnus but she's fine now, it just seems like the demon injected some anesthesia in her so she needed to sleep.  
It's just, if I hadn't listen to Jace, Underhill would have been the one with us and not Clary. She's not ready, I knew it and I still accepted, and Izzy got injured." he sighed and rubbed his nose

Magnus took Alec's hands in his, and start stroking them with his thumbs.  
" Look at me, it's not your fault. I'm sure you did everything to protect her plus she's fine now so you shouldn't think about that anymore."  
"It's just... I should have at least fought with her and let Jace with Clary, I'm just used to be with him so I didn't think about it.." Alec then stopped, his hands still in Magnus' but his eyes looked on the floor.

The look on Alec's face scared Magnus, it seemed like if he was... empty.

"Darling?"  
No response  
"Alexander?"  
"Um" his eyes still on the floor. Magnus took Alec's chin in one hand and raised his head. Looking at those eyes, Magnus smiled.  
"Why don't we go out some day? Just so that you don't fall apart because of all these missions. It doesn't have to mean something." Alec's cheeks became red and Magnus smiled at the cuteness.

"So?"  
"Hm.. Yes of course, I mean if I have the time it's just that even if we have Valentine there are a lot of The Circle's member still out there and many demons still-" Magnus brang one finger to Alec mouth and smiled.  
"I know Alexander, whenever you have time"

Even if he wanted to stay on the floor with Magnus, Alec knew that he couldn't anybody could enter and it would never end well. He stood up and helped Magnus to get up, even though both of them knew he didn't need it.

"I should go shower and sleep a little, euh... Thank you Magnus." Alec took his jacket and turned to Magnus who was now holding a flower in his hand. It was a big flower, well not really big but definitely bigger than the other flowers that were usually in bouquets for instance.

" This one is for you Alexander. It's an anemone." He gave it to the shadowhunter who took it, his eyes not leaving the flower.  
It had white petals and like dark blue little perls in the middle.  
"Thank you, you didn't have to you know." Magnus couldn't look away from Alec, he was about to answer when the loud sound of high heels made them turn around.

Knowing this sound, Alec quickly hide the anemone with his jacket and tried to keep himself in a good posture, Magnus could only notice all this as Maryse entered the room.

"Alec I need the report on the last mission right now, Izzy is still on the infirmary and your brother is still sleeping. No need to wake him so hurry. And what are you doing with this warlock?"  
Magnus saw that Alec was tired, he obviously didn't sleep why didn't that parabatai of him don't do it, at least he slept. What kind of mother was that? Still, Alec kept calm and tried not to show any sign of tiredness.  
"Alright mother, and I was just talking with Mr Bane about the demon who attacked Izzy yesterday."  
"Talk about it with Hodge, after everything I've done to you I don't understand why you still care about those downworlders. Magnus, you know how to get out of here, no need to walk you."  
Magnus took a deep breath and approached Maryse.  
"Next time you talk like this to me or to Alexander in front of me will be the last time you have a warlock here to reinforce the wards. Goodbye Alexander I hope Isabelle will get better." he then left the training room.

When he finished the report, Alec put it in his mother's desk and was about to take a shower when he received a message.

[Magnus] : I already have an amazing idea for the date, you will love this. Just text me when you're free ;)


	7. Chapter 7

Alec had to go on a little mission alone, Izzy wasn't on the infirmary anymore but he told her to rest a little more and he preferred to go alone rather than with Jace or Clary. 

 

It was a quick mission, there was only one demon so when he was done, Alec found himself walking around the city not wanting to go back to the Institute. 

He then suddenly stopped because of the pain from his back. He completely forgot about it, the injury he got when he had to help Izzy. Alec turn to go to the Institute but felt his legs shaking and almost fell when a firm hand held him. 

 

"Easy here" He recognized Raphael's voice so he let himself go to sleep when the vampire carried him. 

 

Alec slowly opened his eyes, he wasn't in the Institute. He was about to get up when a hand pushed him back. 

 

"Not so fast darling" 

 

He blinked and recognized Magnus, he was surrounded by him, Raphael and Maia. 

What was she doing here? 

 

"What were you thinking? What if Raphael here didn't find you Alexander?" Magnus' voice made him look back to him. 

"Um... What?" 

"The injury on your back was from two days ago, why didn't you heal it?" Magnus was trying not to sound too angry, Alec was still confused, but he didn't want to imagine something bad happening to him. 

 

"I just forgot. Thank you Raphael.. and Magnus, I should go." He tried to get up but the same happened again. 

"Tututut you're not going anywhere or else I'll call Isabelle and tell her about the injury."

Alec looked at Magnus in disbelief and then at the two others, there was a silence and Magnus was about to speak again when Raphael began. 

 

"By the way, what is your history with this one she almost attacked me when she saw me with you and then followed me here to make sure I wasn't lying." Alec saw Maia rolling her eyes and almost snorted at that. 

 

"Nothing, we just know each other" It wasn't his story to tell. 

"Bullshit don't take me for an idiota, what did you also push yourself between her and a demon?" Raphael was looking at him straight in the eyes and noticed the way Alec looked at Maia before looking at the floor. 

 

"Raphael stop this, if they are not comfortable sharing this then it's alright they don't owe you anything." Magnus got up and took a glass of water before giving it to Alec. 

"Thanks" 

 

"Is this what happened with you? He saved you from a demon?" Maia was talking to Raphael, with a brave face not wanting to let her guard down. Alec knew this, she always tried to seem strong, ever since the incident that reunited them. 

"Yes and you?" The two downworlders were looking at each other, and Alec began to feel uncomfortable he hated being the subject of a discussion. 

 

"He saved me too..." 

 

 

_~~ Flashback ~~_

 

Alec was on a patrol, it was a quiet night so he was alone. He closed his eyes and let the glow of the moon light up his face. He always preferred the night, it wasn't always calm but in moment like this he loved it. 

 

Then he heard a loud scream and immediately prepared his bow. 

 

"No.. Please.. Stop...Sto-" He quickly followed the voice and saw a wolf over a body. Without thinking twice he shot an arrow at the wolf, a werewolf he thought, who in return run away. 

 

Alec went to see if the person was still alive. She was injured in the neck, and then he noticed it.. 

The werewolf didn't just attacked her, she's going to eventually turn. He tried to focus on the bleeding on her neck so he just kept pressing and cried for help, hoping someone will call 911. 

 

The institute doesn't allow mundane and now that this one is turning into a werewolf, he wouldn't dream of it. 

There was almost no one out there, luckily a woman came running toward him. He managed to glamor his bow and asked her to call an ambulance. 

The woman was slowly opening her eyes, and Alec knew that she will be scared so he tried to lower the pressure on her injury so that she doesn't think that he's hurting her. 

"Listen to me, I'm here to help you alright? An ambulance is coming don't worry everything is going to be fine okay? Do you here me?" He saw her nodding and then whimpering surely because of the pain or the cold. The cold I should cover her what was I thinking. 

" Sir an ambulance is coming"

"Alright, madame could you please take off my jacket and cover her." 

He took off one arm then the other being careful to always maintain a pressure on the wound. 

"Where... Is... He ?" 

"I chased him, he's gone don't worry, he's never going to hurt you again." Alec knew that he shouldn't promise that but he couldn't help but wanting to confort her. 

He got the complete other reaction and couldn't quite understand why, she start crying and he couldn't think of a thing to do. The woman who called the ambulance was looking at her with pity but doing nothing. 

"Look at me, can you tell me your name?" 

"Uh.. Maia" 

"Listen to me Maia, you're strong you can do this alright! You're going to recover from this and become even stronger than before. Don't let him win."                             

He didn't know from where he got those words, maybe he always hoped that someone will say this to him. Alec then thought about the fact that she was a mundane and she probably thought that it only was an animal. But he forgot about it when Maia opened her mouth. 

"I..   am.. not going.. to let him win" He then liberated one of his hand and took Maia's on his. There was blood and dirt but she probably didn't care because she squeezed it with all the strength she could get. 

And with that action, she reminded him of his little sister, always trying to be brave even when she's at her lowest.

The siren of the ambulance was getting closer and he smiled to her letting her know that everything will be alright. 

A man came next to Alec and told him that he was going to take his place so he took his hand off Maia's neck. They were fast and worked really good as a team, just like shadowhunters he thought. 

But when they wanted to carry her to the car she cried and tried to reach for Alec's hand. 

"Can I get in there with her please?" 

Alec knew that he shouldn't, he was still on a patrol and if something happened in his sector his mother will punish him,but he couldn't leave her. 

"Alright but hurry we don't have time."

He quickly took her hand and tried to follow them without getting in their way. 

The ambulance start getting faster and Maia held his hand tighter, wanting to distract her he got closer to her and start talking. 

"So I'm Alec, well Alexander but everyone call me Alec. Actually, it's because my little sister Izzy couldn't get it right when she was younger and start calling me Alec. Now everyone call me Alec..." He continued after he noticed that she started to calm down. 

And without knowing how he managed to talk for this much, they got to the hospital. 

 

_~~ End Flashback ~~_

 

Maia didn't get further, she didn't tell them how Alec was the one who stayed by her side the whole time. And then searched and called Luke to help her get through her transformation without hurting anyone. 

She only understand her chance once she saw a the damages that a new werewolf did because he didn't have a pack. 

Ever since that day, she knew that nothing she could ever do would be enough to thank Alec. 

Raphael just sat and looked back at her. 

"It doesn't even surprise me, why did he have to save my life before I heard from Alexander Lightwood the guardian angel of the downworld." He said dramatically moving his hand.

Magnus noticed Alec's incomfort and glared at the vampire.

"Stop this Raphael."

"He doesn't like getting unwanted attention, plus the Clave wouldn't like it if they heard about a shadowhunter helping us." Maia looked at him and gave him a nod.

"Still" Raphael was thinking and Magnus already knew that he was going to do something.

"Aaalright now that the two bodyguards of Alec are sure that he's in good hands will you do me the pleasure of getting out of here and get a drink somewhere else. I'll pay just shoo, I think that you two are exhausting him." Alec was about to protest when Magnus sushed him, leaving him more confused than anything else.

Maia and Raphael had the same reaction, they just rolled their eyes, said goodbye to Alec and left.

 

" Now Alexander, do you need to sleep? "

" What? Uh no I'm fine I'll just return to the Institute."

Magnus clicked his fingers and a cherry blossom flower appeared in his hand.

 

"Ok... What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Well, we still didn't go out as we planned darling." Magnus places the little flower on Alec's hand.

"Now try to guess where?" Alec frowned and looked at his hand.

"I don't know, what is this supposed to mean?"

 

Magnus smiled at the shadowhunter who couldn't help but surprise him even more. 

He thought that the fact that he saved Raphael was a one-time thing but what Maia just told them...

He tried not to show it but his heart broke after thinking about the things his mother says about downworlders and how different Alec is from her.

 

"We're going to Japan!" 

 


	8. Chapter 8

"Japan? Magnus... I have to go back to the Institute I can't go to Japan.."

For a moment, Magnus could have sworn that he saw a little excitement in the shadowhunter's eyes, but it quickly changed into sadness.

"You can and we are going, you're exhausted if someone ask you something tell them that you fainted somewhere." Alec chuckled and Magnus already saw it as a big accomplishment, so many things happened to him and the only thing he witnessed was a memory from 12 years ago. So many things could have happened in 12 years..  
He quickly chased those thoughts.

"Come on Alexander just this one time, please." He saw Alec blushing and couldn't help but smile.

"Alright."

"Great! First things first, you need to get rid of that t shirt there's blood all over it, by the way I'll give you your jacket back once we return from Japan." Alec frowned but then nodded as if he didn't even want to ask questions.

"Here, it may be a little cold there, you can change here I'm going to get ready." Magnus left and Alec looked the green sweater that the warlock gave him.  
It was soft, he quickly took off his t-shirt and notice that there wasn't any scar nor blood in his body, Magnus really was magical.

He put on the dark green sweater, even if most of his clothes were black he didn't mind. Plus the sweater was so soft against his skin that he grabbed the end of it with his fingers and rubbed it against his cheeks, leaving him smiling like an idiot. 

It was a little bit bigger than him but it was alright, usually people gave him clothes too small for him and he prefer them too big. 

Alec waited for Magnus to finished when he saw the little cherry blossom that Magnus gave him earlier. He quickly took it and put it in his pocket, it sounded silly but it was still technically a gift so the shadowhunter wanted to keep it with the others.

Magnus finally came and he was stunning. 

He was wearing a gold satin turtleneck blouse and leather pants, Alec couldn't help but stare. He then noticed that the warlock also changed his make up, he had eye liner with red eyeshadow but not too much this time. Highlighter was illuminating his face and if he looked very closely he could see lipgloss.

Magnus smirked and Alec quickly looked away.  
"Come on darling, you're going to love this."  
The warlock opened a portal and proposed his hand to Alec. His heart skipped a beat, afraid that the shadowhunter wouldn't want to go with him anymore but Alec slowly got closer and took his hand.

They both smiled at each other and entered the portal.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, kudos are welcome ❤️  
> Don't hesitate to comment, love you 💖


End file.
